Absolutely Wild Headlines You Didn't Read About, End of 2023 Edition
Why Cats Look Like They're in Socks, When Is It Inappropriate to Wear Red Lipstick, Why This Korean Woman Adopted Her Best Friend and Did You Know Toto's Africa Is About a Missionary?
Hey everyone, thanks for opening this up! Let’s kick things off as we always do, with an animal story.
Why Do Cats Look Like They’re Wearing Socks?
How cute are cats who look like they’re wearing socks? Possibly only slightly less cute than cats who look like they are wearing tuxedos. If you want to dig to the nerd level, here’s the full article in Popular Science.
It all boils down to something called “piebaldism.”
From the article: “It’s the result of a mutation in the KIT gene, which causes an unusual distribution of melanocytes—the cells that give eyes, skin, and hair or fur pigment. When a cat is still an embryo, all of its available melanocytes are bunched up toward its back...”
“As the fetus develops, pigment cells spread throughout the developing body. If the melanocytes are evenly distributed, the cat could have a unicolor coat, like Sabrina the Teenage Witch‘s all-black cat, Salem, or the all-white Hello Kitty.”
However in piebaldism, pigment cells clump up and don’t reach the cat’s feet before it is born. This goes for other animals as well. Who knew?
Scrub-a-Dub in a Medieval Tub
No but for real, that’s what the editors chose for a headline:
“Scrub-a-Dub in a Medieval Tub.”
That’s so delightfully deranged. Read the full story here on JSTOR.
As you may or may not know, I never hesitate to mention my nearly useless European Studies bachelor of arts degree in which I learned German (and promptly forgot, except for “haben sie feuer?” which means, “do you have a light for my cigarette”… please note, I do not smoke), and also Italian (also largely forgotten but sometimes comes in handy when I eavesdrop on the old ladies at the grocery store in my formerly very Italian neighborhood and let me tell you they are every bit as SCALDING about the quality of the vegetables as you think they are), and lots of European history.
In European history class, it was the accepted belief that Europeans did not bathe—ever. Apparently this is not quite true:
“Ordinary people in medieval cities bathed regularly in public bathhouses. These were often built close to bakeries, to share heat produced by the ovens.”
“Regulations from the late medieval era suggest bath houses served purposes besides hygiene; attendants, for example, were forbidden to prostitute themselves, and it was forbidden to tip entertainers.”
It was forbidden to tip entertainers? There were entertainers at bath time? That is just so European. These are people highly committed to enjoying themselves at all times.
How Toto Made ‘Africa’ and Why We Still Enjoy It Now
Man, I love this song. It instantly takes me back to humid Fort Lauderdale, Florida in the early 80s, where I lived for a part of Kindergarten, sitting in the car with my mom waiting for a causeway bridge to open. Peak Yacht Rock! You can read the full story here, it’s originally from The Telegraph.
The other song burned into my memory from that time is “You Can Do Magic.” I hate that song.
Anyway, back to “Africa” by Toto. Did you know this song is about a conflicted missionary? Say what? I thought it was some dude on an ayahuasca trip, the lyrics are so nuts.
A reminder of the opener:
“I hear the drums echoing tonight
But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation
She's coming in, 12:30 flight
The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation”
Ok, now it makes sense. Our missionary here is “torn between his lover flying in presumably to take him home and his love for Africa itself,” according to the article.
Toto’s Africa is, apparently, an expertly crafted and subtly layered piece of music played by virtuoso musicians.
“It’s a really remarkable bit of songwriting,” says Professor Joe Bennett, Berklee College of Music. I’m sure someone wants to revoke his tenure after reading that but I’m on his side. This song is a masterpiece.
It starts slowly and builds, with each element layering on top of the one before. There are essentially two keyboard riffs. And there’s a pause at the end of each verse, leading to heightened anticipation for the chorus.
“Musical elements creep in, like acoustic guitar and a subtly more complex bass part. The song is a journey,” says the article. I AGREE!
The Air BnB Black Market
Please note, 2024 is the year travelers are going to be OVER AirBnB. Called it, double-locked it, no erase-ies. Actually AirBnB is already over in NYC, you can read the full article here in Curbed.
Why this bold declaration of mine? Because we’re all tired of being the housekeeping staff while on vacation while paying hundreds of dollars for a cleaning fee for housekeeping. Do you see the problem here? In October I wrote about my own VRBO nightmare experience featuring skin flakes and dog hair, go back and read it if you missed it.
What kind of scam is this and why did we ever agree to it? For the use of a kitchen? I don’t want a kitchen anymore, I just want someone else to take out the trash and deal with the linens when I’ve finished my holiday.
Anyway, if you didn’t know, NYC put up a whole bunch of regulations effectively banning AirBnB rentals. So now those rentals crept over to Craigslist, where you Venmo the owners. Sounds dodgy!
The South Korean Woman Who Adopted Her Best Friend
Two female besties in South Korea decided to work around the patriarchy by the older one (early 40s) adopting the younger one (late 30s). You can read the full article here in Al Jazeera.
“The women have been best friends and roommates for seven years. Last May, Seo-Ran adopted Eo-Rie in a desperate bid to become family under South Korea’s strict family law. By law, only those related by blood, marriage between a man and a woman, and adoption are recognised as family,” says the article.
Why did they do it?
“What we wanted was simple things – to take care of each other, like signing medical consent [forms], taking family-care leave from work when one of us is ill, or organising a funeral when one of us dies later,” Seo-Ran says. “But none of that is possible in South Korea unless we are a legal family. So, we decided to take advantage of this legal loophole, however strange it may look.”
I don’t think their relationship has any sapphic dimensions (not that it’s our business anyway), but even if it did, it’s genius. High fives to the new mom and daughter.
When Can I Wear Red Lipstick?
Is it ever inappropriate to wear red lipstick? This is the question tackled by the NYTimes in this article that my friend Natalie sent me (thanks Nat!).
Here’s an excerpt from the article:
“There are few cosmetics as charged with meaning as red lipstick, which over the centuries has been associated with female allure, sex, sin, glamour, power and politics. One of the first reported fans of red lipstick was Cleopatra, who was said to have painted her lips with red dye made from crushed carmine beetles…but it was also a symbol of the suffragists, who wore it with their white dresses as they marched for the right to vote in the early 1900s.”
I can’t find the YouTube video now but I remember makeup artist and former Shiseido creative director Lisa Eldridge saying she learned in Japan it’s considered quite a classic look, red lips are not considered young, sexy or racy.
Key takeaway, you can always wear red lipstick. Natalie and I both agree that you can, so the matter is settled. *Bangs gavel*
As a side note, Revlon makes the best reds if you ask me. They also make the bestselling red lipstick of all time that sells 1 every 9 minutes: Fire and Ice. I made this video on it.
Thanks for reading!
Helen
Whenever I see that Toto video (which is quite often since I also love that song), my brain always yells "sexy hobbit!"